Want Email Responses? Write For Phones.
- Matt Plavnick
- Jun 19
- 2 min read
Many of us find that AI does wonders to draft and revise emails. Yet if you are still trying to get busy readers to respond, review that email on your phone before sending.
How We Want to Be Read
The image above shows a reader at her desk, working through her inbox. The space is tidy, the light is nice, and the reader herself appears thoughtful and composed. When writing, however, we tend to forget that readers may not be in ideal circumstances when they open our email.
How We Are Actually Read
The reader's reality is often much different. For example . . .
All too common, right? Leave one meeting and scan messages on the way to the next meeting. How do your five paragraphs land now?
Or . . .
As you can see, we take a lot for granted when we make assumptions about about readers' attention when they open our emails.
Get Readers' Attention, and Keep It
Good news, you can take simple steps to get and keep your readers' attention, even when they open your emails in less-than-ideal settings.
Make your subject line count. Don't assume your reader knows or remembers what "Checking in" means. For all you know, to a reader it means "Later." Which, depending on inbox hygiene, is as good as "Never."
Lazy subject line: "Checking in"
Effective subject line: "Answer needed: July 14 guest list"
TL;DR. Okay, okay. Sometimes you need those five paragraphs. (Do you, though? Really?) Let's assume you do. But where does the ask or most vital information belong?
If you are using four paragraphs to set the stage and work up to the ask or vital info, forget it.
Frontload: Instead of working up to it, make your ask or deliver the critical line first. Then say "Additional information is below/attached." For example:
Denise, can Vector Bank guests can share a table with Community Bank guests on July 14?
Pro: We think they would enjoy meeting.
Con: Community is adverse to Vector's client, Raymo Architects, in ongoing litigation. Is that a deal breaker?
Additional background below.
You've given Denise both the ask and critical info up front. Now, go ahead and rehash the gory details in all the paragraphs you want. Denise will read on if she wishes.
Before sending, review your draft on your phone. Or, grab the edge of your email pane and shrink it down from this:
to this:
You'll know quickly whether the ask/vital info is obvious when lawyers open your email.
You can also see whether you need to break up any dense paragraphs (aka "text bricks") for smaller screens. It's good to see how long a paragraph looks when moving from a monitor or laptop screen to a phone. You'll immediately appreciate how screen size affects the visibility of information compared to how you saw it when drafting.
There are many more tips and tricks to improve how your emails reach readers. Start with these and let me know how it goes! matt@axismarketingstrategies.com.
